I have been rather swamped with all kinds of things as of late. Typically, October is not such a busy month in this household, but it certainly has been this year. Not only has this been a busy time with lots of tasks, more appointments with kids and a bit more on the social calander, it has also been a period of self reflection.
As I inch closer to the big 40, and as I think back to high school (thanks to my high school reunion last month) its brought me to a place of self reflection.
The older I get, the more I realize that I am still not totally comfortable with who I am. I think I am, but really I've come to see that I still feel the need to fit in, still feel the need to be liked and care way too much about other people's opinion. I can be rather opinionated myself and find it silly that I should care so much about what others think of me. Things have been so busy, and yet, I still find it hard to not be involved in most things at my son's school. I find it hard to try to cut out stuff or to say no to various activities for the boys. I have been doing so much work for my Tupperware business and my cochair responsibilites for Red Ribbon that I miss sight of what is most important - being the best mom to my 3 sons. I feel like I haven't been doing things with them and for them enough lately. When you have kids, there are always sacrifices we make, trying to find time for all of them and squeeze in time for the hubby or yourself. But lately I feel like I have put too much energy elsewhere and now need to concentrate on my boys a little more. I know no one would say my kids are neglected, but I have been more preoccupied lately, less patient, letting things that I want to do (like contacting a teacher about an issue) wait - so now that things are starting to get a little less chaotic and rushed I am happy to know that I can be more of the mom I want to be. So note to self; "Just say no" - when someone asks if you can help out at school, "Just say no" - when someone orders tupperware and wants me to drop it off a tthier hous "Just say no" (ok usually I offer to do that so can't blame anyone but myself in those cases) . I am the Red Ribbon Chair, so "Just say no" should be part of my vocabulary!
