At this very minute, I am trying to do what some do in the real work force - take my 15 minute afternoon break. When I set up this blog, I knew there would always be something to write about - and I do like to write-but how do I fit in this "just for me" activity when my calender book is filled and my to do list doesn't even fit on one page right now?
I thought I worked hard when I was in my late teens and twenties and late twenties in the working world. Stay at home mom is supposed to mean I am able to coordinate my shcedule and the housework and homework, Dr. appts, therapy when I want to and to be able to give me maybe times in the day for just relaxing right? I still (even 8 years after I became a stay at home mom) think I will be able to squeez in a bit of time here and there to take a call from a friend or finish just one chapter in a book). I do have times where I can talk to friends - as we walk to school or stop for a couple minutes at someones drive for a quick hello, but then 10 mins I usually have to get back home for a nap or an appt. I do bring my book for book club in the car with me when I am waiting in Dr's offices, or in the school line to read 10 mins here or there I am in awe of the women in my neighborhood. They do it all. I see them at a lot of the PTA meetings. They are busy with the school activities, have a sport or some music related activity a couple of times a week, plus playdates, birthday parties, and a ton of other things. I think if I were graded, I'd be getting a D- at mommyhood. I am just not one of those moms where my sons will totally have me in the car most of the day carting them to this or that. I love my boys, but I can barely keep up with PTA events (I felt bad that I did not raise my hand today at school when a mom that was organizing volunteers for fall fest this weekend was looking for extra help and asking if any of us there for a different kind of meeting could help. BNeing a mom is such a hard balancing act. I know some people might differentiate between working moms and stay at home moms - but really we are all working moms, aren't we?
I'm stressed because already this week, I had 2 meeting yesterday - met with my co-chair for Red Ribbon week for the school and had an appt with Trevor's nutritionist. Today, I had meeting at the school for 1st grade room parents, then rush home to get a drink and out the door with Trevor to his Little Learners class - class for mommy and tot to do activities, then get in the car pick up something I forgot to put in my sons' book bag, back to school, then over to a neighbors house to finish planning a baby shower for Thursday morning for a mutual friend. Tonight I have a hair appt, tomoorrow I have Trevor's OT and his Speech, plus an Art Awareness meeting in the evening and Cub scouts - but that falls into my husbands calender!. Thursday is a baby shower I am co-hosting, and then Book club later that night (thank goodness I read the book over a week ago!). Somwehre along the way I hope to be able to go out and get a pair of earrings to match my dress for my class reunion this weekend. Friday - is packed too. And, this schedule is actually one where I did say no to volunteering for this or not committing to that or adding another thing to my to do listis what I have considered that I did actually cut out a few items I initially wanted to do. This just happens to be a month where I became like all the other moms in the neighborhood that I've always been inferior to. They do all this and still manage to go to the gym or get their hair cut and always look fresh in a new outfit. I look hairried and stressed from this past month.
SoI did get a little of my stress and frustration out with this post and I think it was a wise use of a 15 min break (ok it was a little more than 20, but I'm the boss!). Despite all this grumbling, I am dealing with my schedule that is slightly more packed than usual. And, overall, I don't have much to complain about as I am getting through it and if I had to cut something out, I just wouldn't know what to choose - its not like I can cancel a baby shower, and class reunion's come along so in-frequently and Tupperware's record breaker month is only once ayear. I just need to hand in a couple more weeks and then my to do list will be a little smaller and I might have a few less things on my agenda. I always feel busy and I do like being busy. I do want my kids to see that I am interested and involved at what they are doing at school - so I like helping out on PTA parties and such. Its a bit of a juggling act trying to fit time in to keep up my Tupperware business, but I am doing it! I can't imagine not having a big celebration for my good freind who is having a baby. I guess that is just how I am built. I do want to be involved and do want my kids to have play dates and be involved at thier school. I may not compete with some of the mom's but themore that I think of it, maybeI am not doing such a terrible job juggling activites and scheudles and making sure my kids have time for homework and play and keeping it all balanced. I'm not in the corporate rat race, but I am in a rat race nonetheless. And this in no way is meant to take anything away from working moms. I see lots of working moms that are just as devoted to their kids and take half a day off for school events and have a good balance between work and family. I can't imagine me being able to juggle full time work plus the extra activities, but there are lots of great moms that do. My hats off to you, send me some of your energy and endurance! Of course being a mom of kids with special needs takes a little extra work, so I am very fortunate that I can chose to be a stay at home mom at this point in my life.
Ok, my rambling continued even after I said my 15 mins were up, but really I will have to post now as its time to pick the boys up from school. Maybe later I can come back and spell check and proof read!